Saturday, October 29, 2011

Another dream

Went to bed drunkish.
Slept hard through the night.
Woke up around 6am to let Bailey out.  When I went back to bed I had one of "those" dreams.
My parents were still alive again.
My mom was gradually getting sicker.  And like me in real life, she kept eating and eating and eating throughout the dream and I knew that if she got heavier she'd get sicker, too, and I was so worried about that.   And then we knew (Steve, Dad, me) that we had to clean house. Something about her being sick meant we had to clean out the entire house, repaint the walls, and then move back in.  Part of my job was to clean out the refrigerator.  BUT there were like 10 of them.  And there were a lot of greens to throw away and the trash got too full so I decided to compost it all when I noticed all of these beds of beautifual rich soil...so I put the greens on top of them.
And then all these people showed up.  I didn't know any of them and couldn't tell if they were there to throw out there trash, help me with my trash, or to steal the good stuff we had.
And then I had to make a pilgrimage to somewhre.  Like Lufkin.  And I had to walk.  with all these people, and there were some really steep hills and I couldn't get up there so we made human chains and helped each other up.  When I woke up that was the first thing I thought about, "I'm so glad I could just drive to Lufkin if I wanted."
I remember talking to my dad about how my mom was doing with the news she was getting sicker.  And he said she was going in and out of reality.  That she'd be sad and crying and then get more upset and talk about all the things she needed to do. This is when dad thought she was out of reality, but you know, probably not.  These were her (my?) regrets.  All the things she wanted to do, but couldn't now.
And then we started talking about Thanksgiving and I said I'd just make the whole meal (I usually did after she got sick) and then Steve said we should just go out to a restaurant instead.  I don't remember how I felt about that in the dream.

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