For the first time ever, we only managed through three different exercises. Bicep curls, reverse lunges, and the burpees from hell. I cried a little. I felt like that kid in 4th grade, again. The one who couldn't do a single pull up. Could hardly do all the running. Who felt awkward and pathetic. It didn't last long, maybe five-ten minutes. But it sucked.
I think about people who lose weight really quickly. Like on The Biggest Loser or with surgery. I understand the physical side of it is really tough, even though it's happening quickly. I get it. I get that it's probably tougher in a lot of ways than I've experienced this last year.
But what I don't understand is how they work through the emotional/psychological stuff. My head gets in my way far more often than my body does.
It's been almost a year. And what the hell, I'll tell you, I've gone from 252 to 195. I started in a size 24W. I'm easily in a size 16 (no W.) I weigh what I weighed my senior year of high school. I'm wearing clothes I wore as a junior. That was over 20 years ago.
I was wearing shoes in size 9. Often wides. Now? 7 or 7.5 depending on the brand.
I've gone from not being able to do 20 minutes on the elliptical to doing 60. I couldn't walk a mile without severe leg cramps. Now I can walk-jog-run about a 5k.
I've made huge progress. I'm really liking what I see in the mirror. I can even pull of this new short do I've got going on.
But I don't get all that most of the time. Usually looking in the mirror surprises me. Especially full-length ones.
Sometimes I will look at a pair of my jeans and can't imagine how they possibly fit me.
Then there are the other times. When I look at my new, much smaller jeans and think they look huge. Look at my new t-shirts (men's size medium) and think they're enormous.
I'm working through it. I just have to keep proving these old ideas of myself wrong. And while it's hard, it's not impossible. I've got the time to do it. And when I hover around a certain weight range for awhile, it tends to help. I adjust. I get used to it. Then I move on.
I think if I did it Biggest Loser fast or surgery fast I'd be a fucking nutcase.
I'm going to bed now and hoping I'm able to walk tomorrow.
Oh! Found a video. Ignore her first exercise, and then combine, yes COMBINE the last two. Plank, then rows, then hop up, then lift. Then down into plank again. Ow.
that burpee looks like a jackass.
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